Lessons in the Absurd: Swedish Oddities Vol. 1

Last night after getting off a bus and somewhat aimlessly heading for a sports bar I had found online in order to watch Chelsea FC vs. FC Bayern Munich, I happened upon Umeå's town square. This scurvy-ridden band of marauders flying the Jolly Roger and coincidentally singing some merry tunes sprang before me :

"This ship be burnin' down..."

(Incidentally this 15 minute Swedish pirate band sidetrack caused me to miss Torres' goal, which I've been told was quite nice).

Having only been in Sweden for 5 days, new and different sights, sounds, etc. are much more apparent than I'm sure they will be in a few weeks once I'm more acclimated. It seems appropriate then that 85% of pictures taken thus far are not of beautiful scenery, breathtaking architecture, or even the people I've met, but rather of the little (and sometimes big) quirks with which the Swedes indulge themselves. Just so we're clear, I'm not ignorant of the irony and juxtaposition created by taking pictures of everyday Swedish things. I must look equally absurd to them when I stop to take a picture of a bench. When I think of this I like to remind myself that I'll most likely never talk to or see these people again and if I do, they'll have some quirk with which to remember me. In the end, we all just want to be remembered.

Without further ado, initiate photodocumentation!

Two logistics people working in Umeå's hospital:

Person 1:  "This place is huge, and sometimes important medical supplies, or just toilet paper, have to be transported quickly."

Person 2:  "How can it be done?"

P1:  "A gurney or wheelchair?"

P2:  "No, four wheels is clearly too clumsy for all the tight turns. What about a dolly?"

P1:  "Not fast enough, and I mean, come on, two wheels? Three is the way to be.."

P2:  "Yes! But what if we take something conventional and make it bizarre because we are Swedish?"

I present to you, the reverse tricycle:

It's like a Big Wheel, only more backwards.

Not much explanation needed on this one, but I hope everyone understands why I had to buy it:

"Hmm, I wonder what's in the wrapper."

Winters can be long and harsh here in northern Sweden. How do tall, blonde, frankly stunning Swedish women keep their beach bodies intact? I'm glad you asked. They simply move the beach inside:

IKSU Sports:  which presumably stands for "I Know Sand, Uhh, Sports"

When you're jonesing for every ingredient traditionally stuffed in a doner kebab, look no further than on your pizza. I ate 2/3 of this in one sitting, including a bite before I came to my senses and took a picture:

Some oddities are good!

That's it for now. I'm sure to come across many more, which I will of course post in Vol. 2 and beyond. 

Skål!

Bonus! I happened upon this little gem as I went into the break room at work for my 12th cup of coffee:

 

"What's comin' will come, an' we'll meet it when it does." - Hagrid the philiosopher